i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
