idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
