I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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