You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
