oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
my shit smells like andre
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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