3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
