you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
