I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
