Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
