I hope mine doesn't look like that
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I smell like Dick and happiness
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
