i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
