When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
where am i from again
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
