How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
whose parrot is this?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
