I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize