love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
