shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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