Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize