Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
