That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
