In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
