I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
4 words: hood of his car
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
