oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm sobbing to NWA
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize