READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
