if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
