My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize