I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
