i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
