what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
you would pick up someone in the library
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
