After last night, I could never be a politician.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
