i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize