This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
