my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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