My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Randomize
