there was a trapeze. enough said
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
