Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Randomize
