It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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