she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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