everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
where am i from again
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
