Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
