Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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