We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
