the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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