your parents love me but you hate me
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
