The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
