And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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