My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
