Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
