ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize