I've blown a few things in my day
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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