Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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