And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
