i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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