Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
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