Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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