why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Randomize
