Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
