so that wasnt chicken after all
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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