he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
