I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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