do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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