She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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