I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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