This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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