Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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