hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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