I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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