Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
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