I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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