So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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