I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
