OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
