just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
