I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
im holly from the hills drunk
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
