I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize