It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Randomize
