Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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