I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
