whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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